Went to a club last month with some friends. This club is supposed to be geared toward people from the same religious background as me. It's separated by age groups into different floors... in theory. First, I do have to say that the evening was a lot of fun-- because of the company I went with. Those ladies were great.
The dance left something to be desired. Not too many people were there... mostly those "odd" types that I've mentioned before. The music was that rotten kind that is in-between fast and slow and wasn't really danceable. The usual one or two strange men followed us around the floor throughout a big chunk of the evening.
When we decided to leave, one of my friends complained to the guy checking i.d.'s about the lack of atmosphere, decent music, etc. Long story short... the club owner came out, climbed in my friend's minivan, and began talking with us about our experience. It was, um...interesting. He invited several of his friends to climb in as well. One jumped in and instead of climbing into the back seat, he sat on my lap and began dancing. Putting my hands in the air, I leaned back to the extent possible. Between the fellow and my seatbelt, I was pretty well trapped. Thankfully it was not a long-lived experience.
Needless to say... we won't be very likely to go back....
Friday, May 13, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Hugging the Shore in a Sea of Crazies.....
When it comes to entering the dating world, I would say that I'm easing my way in slowly....VERY slowly. It's rather like the way one enters a cold lake.
Step One: Stand on the beach with the water licking the very tips of your toes. Don't move until your toenails adjust to the temperature.
Step Two: Move forward just enough that the water encloses the lower two-thirds of both feet. Once again... DON'T MOVE.
Step Three: After five minutes or so have passed, and your feet feel normal again, slosh through the frigid waters until you are standing with both ankles submerged. *WARNING* Do not aggravate your nervous system by moving farther than this in one step...
And so on and so forth it goes.....
I recently began attending a local religion class (similar to a Bible study) for people who are loosely (and if you saw some of them, you'd say it was a VERY loose interpretation) in my age category. The class itself is fabulous. The teachers are phenomenal! It's great to have the opportunity to refocus in the middle of the week. The first couple of weeks, this is pretty much where it ended for me. I attended, I listened, and I went home....
A couple of weeks ago, I set a goal for myself that I would be more social. So I began staying for the refreshments and trying to talk with people. Let's just say that it's been a mixed bag.... There are some interesting personalities involved. Okay, let's be honest... Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to swim in a sea of crazies! It's not that they're bad people; it's just that some of them are SO different. I'm not sure I'm ready for this--yet here I stand, waiting for my toenails to get used to the idea...
Step One: Stand on the beach with the water licking the very tips of your toes. Don't move until your toenails adjust to the temperature.
Step Two: Move forward just enough that the water encloses the lower two-thirds of both feet. Once again... DON'T MOVE.
Step Three: After five minutes or so have passed, and your feet feel normal again, slosh through the frigid waters until you are standing with both ankles submerged. *WARNING* Do not aggravate your nervous system by moving farther than this in one step...
And so on and so forth it goes.....
I recently began attending a local religion class (similar to a Bible study) for people who are loosely (and if you saw some of them, you'd say it was a VERY loose interpretation) in my age category. The class itself is fabulous. The teachers are phenomenal! It's great to have the opportunity to refocus in the middle of the week. The first couple of weeks, this is pretty much where it ended for me. I attended, I listened, and I went home....
A couple of weeks ago, I set a goal for myself that I would be more social. So I began staying for the refreshments and trying to talk with people. Let's just say that it's been a mixed bag.... There are some interesting personalities involved. Okay, let's be honest... Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to swim in a sea of crazies! It's not that they're bad people; it's just that some of them are SO different. I'm not sure I'm ready for this--yet here I stand, waiting for my toenails to get used to the idea...
Saturday, March 19, 2011
It Doesn't Get Better Anytime Soon....
As I began dabbling my toes in the dating waters, it didn't improve over my last encounter... In other words, the comic strip continued...
Setting:
The back chapel doors at church... Baby blessing this time.... (For those who don't know, a baby blessing in my church is essentially like a christening.)
Segment 1:
DeeDee, accompanied by her two children, surveys the chapel. She realizes that only one row in the whole room has three adjoining seats available. It is at this point that she notices Fellow #1 sitting a few empty seats down on the same row.
** I realize that at this point, some of you may be thinking, "Well, DeeDee... that's convenient. Sit down, scootch on over, and flirt shamelessly. It's providence!" Some of you may have forgotten the stranger's lap, the wall that I narrowly missed, and the lampshade that was turned into milkglass shrapnel... **
Segment 2:
DeeDee wonders in horror if perhaps the heavens are conspiring against her while she shepherds her two children into their seats on either side of her.
Segment 3:
The Sacrament (similar to communion) is being passed. DeeDee reaches carefully over her child to pass the bread to T.B.A. (Tall, Blonde, and you get it....) Luckily, no one ends up wearing bread crumbs.
Segment 4:
Our heroine's confidence grows as she realizes that so far, there have been no random casualties. With a sigh of relief, she is horrified to realize that Mr. T is passing the tray back to her. (Thanks, Deacon whose name escapes me, for planting yourself firmly at my end of the row...)
Segment 5:
Avoiding a bread crumb disaster and planning for the worst when the water comes, Dee switches places with her youngest child to prevent any spills. She casually passes the tray to the handsome fellow. All parties involved manage to remain dry...
Segment 6:
#1 hands the tray back to Dee... again... She turns to pass it over her little one to the nameless one who is STILL standing there with a smile on his face. Thanks again, oh friendly one!
Segment 7:
Small child leans forward, trapping the tray with the water cups firmly between her forehead and the metal chair in front of her. (Insert thought bubble with large CLANG here...)
Segment 8:
The metal of the tray and the metal of the chair announced their meeting as loudly as one might expect. Hundreds of quiet people are distracted from this sacred ordinance by the crazy lady in the back who forgets basic skills when placed in the presence of an attractive male.
Setting:
The meeting ends. T tries to exit at our end of the row...
Segment 9:
Mr. Fellow waits patiently for Dee and her kids to exit the aisle so that he can leave as well... and waits... and waits...
and waits some more....
Segment 10:
DeeDee and the kids FINALLY stand to leave. Oops! Dee realizes that someone has dropped a tissue. Ever the lady, she sits down to pick it up rather than flash her posterior in T.B.'s face. #1 narrowly avoids tripping over Dee in her unexpected maneuver.
Setting:
The back chapel doors at church... Baby blessing this time.... (For those who don't know, a baby blessing in my church is essentially like a christening.)
Segment 1:
DeeDee, accompanied by her two children, surveys the chapel. She realizes that only one row in the whole room has three adjoining seats available. It is at this point that she notices Fellow #1 sitting a few empty seats down on the same row.
** I realize that at this point, some of you may be thinking, "Well, DeeDee... that's convenient. Sit down, scootch on over, and flirt shamelessly. It's providence!" Some of you may have forgotten the stranger's lap, the wall that I narrowly missed, and the lampshade that was turned into milkglass shrapnel... **
Segment 2:
DeeDee wonders in horror if perhaps the heavens are conspiring against her while she shepherds her two children into their seats on either side of her.
Segment 3:
The Sacrament (similar to communion) is being passed. DeeDee reaches carefully over her child to pass the bread to T.B.A. (Tall, Blonde, and you get it....) Luckily, no one ends up wearing bread crumbs.
Segment 4:
Our heroine's confidence grows as she realizes that so far, there have been no random casualties. With a sigh of relief, she is horrified to realize that Mr. T is passing the tray back to her. (Thanks, Deacon whose name escapes me, for planting yourself firmly at my end of the row...)
Segment 5:
Avoiding a bread crumb disaster and planning for the worst when the water comes, Dee switches places with her youngest child to prevent any spills. She casually passes the tray to the handsome fellow. All parties involved manage to remain dry...
Segment 6:
#1 hands the tray back to Dee... again... She turns to pass it over her little one to the nameless one who is STILL standing there with a smile on his face. Thanks again, oh friendly one!
Segment 7:
Small child leans forward, trapping the tray with the water cups firmly between her forehead and the metal chair in front of her. (Insert thought bubble with large CLANG here...)
Segment 8:
The metal of the tray and the metal of the chair announced their meeting as loudly as one might expect. Hundreds of quiet people are distracted from this sacred ordinance by the crazy lady in the back who forgets basic skills when placed in the presence of an attractive male.
Setting:
The meeting ends. T tries to exit at our end of the row...
Segment 9:
Mr. Fellow waits patiently for Dee and her kids to exit the aisle so that he can leave as well... and waits... and waits...
and waits some more....
Segment 10:
DeeDee and the kids FINALLY stand to leave. Oops! Dee realizes that someone has dropped a tissue. Ever the lady, she sits down to pick it up rather than flash her posterior in T.B.'s face. #1 narrowly avoids tripping over Dee in her unexpected maneuver.
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